Inner Chaos

Tears

Tidal waves

Hope

The light that breaks the darkness

The sun that shines through the black array of clouds.

A flicker to a bright flame.

It burns.

Crumbs of love

Swirling, intense feelings

Needing oxygen

Fighting to swim

Breathe

Unbalanced, losing footing

Dig deep

The intense emotional rush

Slamming into you, into everything

That crashing sound

The stillness that plateaus

Help me Jesus to rest in your arms.

The Tears Fall

You keep giving until there is nothing left,

You fight your demons until you drag,

You tell yourself you are okay every day,

Deep inside the box, the broken things spill,

Deep inside your childlike faith is choking,

Deep inside your emotions collide,

He is There!

He is meeting you in the storm!

He is not afraid of the messiness inside!

You feel alone,

You feel exhausted,

You feel like giving up,

The Tears Fall…

Wet on my cheeks,

Down my face to my shirt,

No! My hands fly to my face.

Stop the ugly tears, just stop, stop!

My heart quickens,

My breathing… panting,

My eyes burn with pain and anger.

I rock back and forth,

I start wondering if He is really there,

I am determined to seek Him.

In the darkest corners of what’s left of my heart, I want Him, I need Him more. Surrendering the deepest hurts and trusting Him is so important in building faith. My heavenly Father who is a Mighty Warrior…who Loves me…who died for me.

Speak Life

I am fearfully and wonderfully made,

I am the daughter of the Mighty King,

I am loved, accepted and chosen.

I am His.

To my knees, I pray.

To my Father, I speak softly with reverence.

To my feelings, I say…Not today Satan!

The Tears Fall.

Jesus, I need you.

Jesus, please hold me.

Jesus, I cannot face this alone.

Jesus, please help me to cling to you.

…..Now Breathe….

His hand is extended….

He’s waiting for you.

He’s got you baby girl.

He’s got you in His arms.

Be Still.

Not Going Anywhere

A friend sent me a song today to listen to… It is called “Not Going Anywhere” by House on a Hill. Songs really speak to me. It is one of the ways that Jesus speaks to me.

He truly does speak.

This song in particular revealed to me that He does hear us even though we might feel or think that He doesn’t a lot of the time.

BUT… God does listen.

Here is what I am hearing from Him today.

  • Yes, I know it is hard for you to trust that my love or any love is safe.
  • He will never ever leave me.
  • Even when I unload my junk from life or the sins that I may have been caught up in… He is not going anywhere! He is staying right there with me, fighting with me and for me. He is here. No matter what. I might say…but. But, God is not leaving.
  • I am not perfect, BUT He is. I struggle with perfectionism and even trying to please other people. When I am me, raw, naked, just me… I am not perfect alone, But I am made perfect in Him alone.
  • I am still learning and growing… He is still there and not going anywhere.
  • When I can’t breathe, He is there and not going anywhere.
  • Even when I feel like I keep messing things up in life, He is there to redirect and teach me more about who He is and that I can trust Him.
  • In those moments of fear, He is there and saying, I’ve Got This, Fear is a Liar.

I may be messy, imperfect, fearful and afraid of loving and trusting…

Only He can make me whole.

He is NOT going anywhere and He Does NOT break promises.

Here is the Link to the song: https://binged.it/2FEHeJk

couple holding hands love people
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