Spirit Lead

From the dark places,

The places that really hurt,

Stop staring at me,

I just want to hide,

But He has called me,

To step out of the darkness,

Into the light.

My skin hurts,

Do I still have a heart?

To numb, I try, but it doesn’t work.

The truth is that,

He loves me,

He loves me,

He loves me,

He loves me.

Even when I feel like He is so far away,

I try to push Him away,

He never stops working.

He knows me,

Even when I don’t know myself.

He’ll always be by my side.

Thank you.

Thank you even when I don’t get it.

I lay my head on your chest.

Please cover me.

You find me, right here, right now.

Peace Be Still.

Intimacy

Finding the right words to say…

Often they sit softly on your lips…

Are they the right words?

Will they ever be?

The truth.

I am a Child of the King,

A princess.

He desires for an intimate relationship.

A relationship where there is freedom from insecurity and inadequacy because He makes you whole in Him.

Fighting for that spiritual intimacy that only He can bring…

Why am I fighting?

He is already here,

He is waiting and always ready to listen,

He cares about me,

Ever so deeply.

Keep seeking Him,

You can do it, He is right by your side.

Hand in hand,

We can run, skip, jump and walk with Him.

He’s even there in the silence.

He is there in the struggle,

Focus.

Be Brave and Trust Him,

He freaking loves you so much.

Broken to see You

Peace.

Breathe.

Open my eyes to see you.

Today was a hard day, Jesus.

Really hard.

I started the morning at your feet,

I asked the Holy Spirit to move,

I was playful and excited about the day,

I loved the beautiful sunrise,

It was so colorful,

Like a painting that I can only aspire to ever create,

God, sometimes I need things to slow down,

Just a little bit.

Today, I arrived safely to work,

I walked in with a big smile and I love saying good morning and let’s do this!

Then, the dark clouds come.

I keep praying,

I panic,

My friend prayed with urgency for me,

And as I pondered big questions,

The warfare only got bigger and bigger,

I wanted everything to stop,

The warfare was swallowing me,

Then I broke,

I started crying,

Ugly Tears,

My heart,

Hurt,

I couldn’t stop crying,

Even in the storm, I could see you,

But all I could do was cry.

I used to be able to be a fortress, no tears, tough, nothing got to me,

Then life happened, ugly things happened,

I broke,

I found you,

Learning to start from the beginning,

To learn how to cope and feel safe,

My hope is only in You.

I’m struggling Jesus.

I am who you say I am,

Not what the world says in their anger,

I pray to find rest and peace with you as I continue to find true freedom.

Breathe

Just Breathe

I desire to grow in you and be who you created me to be.

Broken to freedom,

Amen.

Swing Still

Blank stare,

Emotions collide,

Cannot breathe,

Need to breathe,

Is this real?

Does it matter?

Who cares?

He cares about everything,

Trying to dig deeper,

He gathers the missing pieces,

Trying to produce sound,

He holds my hand,

I need someone to walk with us,

Praying and walking with Him,

Please listen and feel with me,

Help me to see Him,

So that I can be made whole.

I’m so tired of being broken,

So tired of the shame,

Just….breathe….

Stop shaking.

He is here.

I am 2 years old.

Be still and Swing.

Speak Up

I woke up this morning in a box of shame,

I had nightmares again.

Will they ever stop?

And why is it that I never fight hard enough to get away?

And why do I always hear those words?

“Beautiful girl, come”.

Stop it!

Stop it!

Stop it!

Jesus, help.

Please teach me to speak up and fight.

KI