Whirlwind to Peace

The whirlwind,

Can you feel it?

The beating of your anxious heart,

Your chest tightening,

That feeling that creeps up from your belly to the top of your esophagus…

I can’t breathe.

My ears are warm and my eyes are wide open…

Hurry close them!

I spend so much time stuck in my head,

I’m reaching and asking Him to meet me here,

Hand in Hand,

Here I am Poppa,

Is it okay to cling to you in the darkness,

When the scary stuff creeps in?

My eyes are closed,

Am I safe?

You are here,

Let’s ride the waves together,

Struggling to find that gentle, calm space,

You are leading the way.

Walking side by side is where I want to be,

You are delighted in me,

You see more than I see,

The journey ahead is…

A hop, skip and a jump.

To play, to grow, to live and to love.

New adventures are coming,

Though I am scared,

I seek you.

On shaky ground,

I seek you.

Help me please,

To find peace in your presence.

Sometimes

The chiming of the bell,

The alarm that wakes you to the core,

Tick, Tock goes the clock,

Am I too late?

To snip and suture the wound?

I need the Almighty Surgeon and Healer.

To put the pieces back together…..

To help me to be whole.

Sometimes I cry,

Sometimes I pray,

Sometimes I reach my hands to the sky,

And sometimes I feel afraid.

To feel, is okay.

But to remain in the depths of despair,

That mindset needs a reset,

Hold on tight, deep breath, bosom to the floor with hands clasped gently together.

He will meet you there.

He is always with you, always.

That hope that resonates to the core,

I keep repeating… He is Here…

He knows that I’m drowning…

He holds the vine…

Reach out, it is within sight,

Jump and take flight.

He’s got you,

He knows your brokenness,

He knows your desires to be made whole.

Numb

He is there.

Maybe that is where I’m supposed to be?

I need to be held,

Because I’m falling apart.

Deep breath.

Listen.

He loves you and I.

To be whole.

Desolation

What is love?

Unconditional love?

Jesus, I reach to you

I feel alone,

I feel angry,

I feel deeply hurt.

Those places where the crows fly,

The dust swirls,

The sun blocked by the polluted atmosphere,

I am thirsty, I am hungry, I struggle to breathe,

My hope is in you,

Please help me to get this pain out,

To release it all to you,

To trust you.

Dear Poppa, I need you close.

Rage to Hope

The struggle,

The deep ache,

For hope,

For love,

For Him to keep you covered,

Keep focused baby girl,

Deep breath,

Jesus, help.

I need help.

I need the broken pieces to come back together,

To feel something better than the rage,

To be free and clean,

Will you sit with me?

Even in my mess?

Even with my anger?

I cannot do this alone.

Will you walk with me?

Can you hold my hand and wash my face?

Come in my secret place and love me?

Even if it’s dark,

Please help me to see more of you.

I want to know you more,

I long for that embrace of safety and trust.

I’m seeking you the best I know how to.

Please continue to teach me.

Please do not give up on me.

I see you watering the flowers,

I want to be there too.

It’s my hope and I’m learning.

Rage go away.

Peace Be Still

Spirit Lead

From the dark places,

The places that really hurt,

Stop staring at me,

I just want to hide,

But He has called me,

To step out of the darkness,

Into the light.

My skin hurts,

Do I still have a heart?

To numb, I try, but it doesn’t work.

The truth is that,

He loves me,

He loves me,

He loves me,

He loves me.

Even when I feel like He is so far away,

I try to push Him away,

He never stops working.

He knows me,

Even when I don’t know myself.

He’ll always be by my side.

Thank you.

Thank you even when I don’t get it.

I lay my head on your chest.

Please cover me.

You find me, right here, right now.

Peace Be Still.