Love and Center

Love is so very important.

I learned this the other day.

That is what we desire…

To be loved,

To love,

To be made whole.

What is your true center?

It is a sense of wonder?

It is of hope?

It is of dreams?

Is it of memories?

Is it of genuine fun?

To live,

To truly be who you were created to be,

Love.

Let that Light Shine!

KI

Internal Scream

I don’t know if it is just me,

But I struggle with this tug-of-war,

Heels dug in the ground,

Jaw clenched and sweat on the brow.

Pull, as if to run away, but also to say No!

How do you learn to vocalize the scream?

Where is it safe to do so?

Will other people think I’m weird?

What will it sound like?

A Barbaric Yarp or a mix of shrieking with gasping?

I just struggle with the swirling of the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the joy and the pain.

I keep trying to learn the balance between talking and not talking. Sometimes it feels as if it is easier to say nothing at all.

Here I am.

Waving my hands.

Like an S.O.S.

Visions of breakthrough….

Anything can happen…

Jesus, is it safer to be alone?

To not be a burden to anyone?

To stroll solo without any ties to anyone?

To not share for the fear of abandonment?

Maybe easier?

To be a turtle, to lock up the hurt inside and throw the key away.

To realize that I’m not really here.

It is all temporary.

My home is not here.

It is in Heaven.

Every time I try to dig deep and be me to those close relationships…

I always watch them walk away and I learn that yet again I’m not supposed to say anything.

I’m supposed to care, to love, to be there always listening.

Deep breath, I can’t breathe!

The tears,

I dislike those so much!

I wish I had a magic wand to take away all of the hurt and pain that you and I feel.

Shattered life, Shattered me…

Only He can put the pieces back together.

Please remember that everyone is facing a battle and conversations are so very important.

Postcards sure,

Email sure,

Text sure,

But the really deep connecting stuff,

That is what God desires for us to find only with those He has appointed there in that place.

He is the healer and loving Father.

To trust Him.

To stop talking.

To love Him.

To bow my head.

Peace Be Still.

Be Merry

People say…

Merry Christmas!

Happy Holidays!

Seasons Greetings!

Be Merry!

Thanksmas!

Truth be told…

I just want to hear…

Happy Birthday Jesus over all of the banter.

My heart, my mind, my soul…

Craves Him.

I feel…

The ebb and flow of the shiver between Dark and Light…

I feel…

The warmth, the glow, the comfort that can only be found in Him…

I want that this December.

So, Yes, Be Merry…

But be true and authentic.

(((HUGS))

KI

Learning to Breathe

In the beginning, even if you don’t really know where that starts…

You feel as if the whole world is on top of you and all sights and sounds bombard your senses.

You can’t breathe.

You shut your eyes tightly, Pull your knees to your chest and Cover your ears.

Stop, just stop.

Can anyone see me?

Inviting someone… anyone into this space is to be used with caution. You do not want to be hurt anymore.

The desire is to flourish to be accepted for who you are, to be loved unconditionally and to make the biggest splash that you can…and to love others, to point them to…

Jesus

We desire a higher calling, a higher purpose, a place to belong and a place to call home.

Home… that is not here, but there are pieces here and there. People who embody and bear much fruit.

Even in those darkest moments, those places where you can’t breathe, He is there.

Learning to listen, to grow, to continually seek Him. It is the key to shutting out the lies and for finding victory.

Stop listening to the lies!

I am a sheep and He is the Good Shepherd.

He is your and my Pappa.

He longs for us to abandon all ties to this world and to follow Him.

To empty ourselves, so that He can come in and restore those broken places. To turn the jaggedness to a beautiful masterpiece.

When you feel trapped, alone, in the corner, in that dark place…He is there.

Breathe. Inhale…1…2…3…4…hold…1…2…Exhale…3…4…5…6…7…8.

Is it easy? No, but it is not meant to be easy. Our heavenly home is not here on this earth. We are citizens of Heaven.

Put on that armor of the Lord…

And remember He is with you…

Every single step of the journey.

Breathe.

Listen and Live

He is the chain breaker,

The Mighty Warrior!

He encompasses the deepest love that is unconditional.

He always listens to you,

He certainly cares about everything that you do.

He celebrates with you when you follow His word and when you allow Him to mend the messed up places that only He can fix.

In the mending, keep drawing close to Him.

Each day, a new start, take a deep breath!

For those He adds as companions on the journey, love and care for them too.

He is restoring and building up all of His children who seek Him.

He is a wonderful Pappa.

Let’s take the time to let Him love us even when we may not understand love.

Being made whole, in Him… is on His timetable, not ours.

Be patient child.

Keep climbing and looking up.

Keep your heart open and don’t build walls.

Keep taking the time to stop and smile.

He loves you more than you know.

He really does.

You can keep going,

Because He who is in you,

Is bigger than he who is in the world!