Pine Lodge, Becoming Whole

(To the Ladies of Pine Lodge, Timberline Knolls)

A place of change,

The girls in lodge,

A part of the

journey of healing.

Together they provided,

Strength, Wonder, Hope

And Honesty…

So many attributes of growth.

Pine Lodge provided,

A safe place for some,

Even though,

It is truly a safe place.

Many of us struggled,

And ran away

from ourselves,

Remembering trauma or dissociation or fear.

Trauma is real,

Not everything is life comes easily,

There is purpose in the learning,

It hurts,

It tears you apart,

Part of recovery,

Is putting the pieces together,

And fixing the shattered heart,

with Gold.

We are changed,

We are bold,

We are strong,

We are becoming whole.

One day at a time…

It is a beautiful process,

We all stop running,

We are filled with love,

To face new beginnings.

The goodness in the valleys and the mountains.

Brokenness,

Recovery,

Learning,

Becoming a sisterhood.

-KI-

The Journey & Letting Go

(To the Ladies of Pine Lodge)

Code greens, Code searches, Chaos

I do not fully comprehend

Even I ran.

Dissociated,

And tried to hide in the forest

Because I thought

I was safer there.

Trauma and ED are real.

It is a part of our stories

At Pine Lodge.

Sometimes we do not know

what is in front of us.

We rise.

We climb.

We are challenged.

And we face the storm.

We are strong.

We are the Ladies of Pine Lodge

Summer/Fall 2020

Letting go…

Changing into a beautiful masterpiece.

Day by Day,

We give of ourselves

Minute by minute.

Take a deep breath,

Embrace the moment,

There is a beautiful world ahead of you!

We’ve got this!

No matter what,

The fight within and around us,

We are emptied,

Then filled with sweet love.

-KI-

Worn Refreshed

Tink, tink, think, tink…

Scratch, scratch, scratch…

Burrowing, wet, cold, dank dark…

Whisps of air skips across my face…

Vulnerability.

Allowing Poppa in this place,

To be with me.

The journey through inpatient care,

To find that He doesn’t run away,

Rather He is the light in the darkness.

The only way to get out of this space…

The dirty dungeon and the grim,

Is to walk, to grow in that space to step into the light and walk with Him.

He is so proud of me and you,

To be brave, to trust Him, to say Poppa,

I love you very much.

I am not alone after this retreat.

You are here with me,

To continue the adventure ahead.

To be vulnerable as stated before.

This is a place of recovery and healing.

Don’t be afraid little girl…

Talitha koum!

Covered with His feathers is where I remain.

Much love to you as well.

Breathe.

Certainly New Beginnings

Uncertainly certain, can that be possible?

Raw emotions without regulation.

Help Poppa.

Being in a vulnerable place,

Where it feels like chaos reigns,

On the inside and outside.

I have hope Poppa, that we can do this,

Together.

Body being turned inside out.

Facing the compartments of feels.

There is life on the other side.

New beginnings are ahead.

With you by my side,

Your majestic light covers me like a cocoon,

Poppa I love you and need you,

To breathe, To be free, To fulfill my calling.

It is you who is perfect peace,

And it is only in you that I can find hope.

Thank you so much for circling me with supportive butterflies,

I am grateful and I am seeking you!

Into the Light Little One

Sometimes the heart gets really heavy,

Isolation makes it worse,

Open up little one,

Open up.

The enemy wants me to keep hiding.

Poppa wants me to come into the light.

I’m frightened.

I close my eyes,

Trying to breathe,

In my soft voice, I yearn for Him.

Dear Poppa, I need you here in this place.

Please meet me here,

Help me to shake off the layers of darkness,

And be made new, pure and clean.

I am so tired of being covered in filth,

Covered by the wounds from my past.

The time is now.

You are knocking,

Please Jesus, Poppa…

Please meet me here.

One foot forward, two steps forward,

My hand grabs for your extended hand.

I am safe with you.

I am safe with you.

I am safe with you.

You are with me.

You are not going anywhere.

Poppa, your light is so very bright.

Please walk with me and help me to walk out of the darkness into the light.