Keep Going

Swaying,

Exhausted,

My emotions toss about inside,

I was frozen,

I thought, I thought I saw him,

I didn’t know what to do,

Tears with embarrassment,

Shame,

Just breathe, Just breathe,

The moment of fear overwhelmed me,

My heart,

Dear Jesus,

Cover me in your wings,

I seek refuge and tenderness,

Your hands,

Your love,

Your eyes,

My hope,

Is in you.

Leaning into you more every day.

Just Breathe.

My eyes on you.

Amen.

Broken to see You

Peace.

Breathe.

Open my eyes to see you.

Today was a hard day, Jesus.

Really hard.

I started the morning at your feet,

I asked the Holy Spirit to move,

I was playful and excited about the day,

I loved the beautiful sunrise,

It was so colorful,

Like a painting that I can only aspire to ever create,

God, sometimes I need things to slow down,

Just a little bit.

Today, I arrived safely to work,

I walked in with a big smile and I love saying good morning and let’s do this!

Then, the dark clouds come.

I keep praying,

I panic,

My friend prayed with urgency for me,

And as I pondered big questions,

The warfare only got bigger and bigger,

I wanted everything to stop,

The warfare was swallowing me,

Then I broke,

I started crying,

Ugly Tears,

My heart,

Hurt,

I couldn’t stop crying,

Even in the storm, I could see you,

But all I could do was cry.

I used to be able to be a fortress, no tears, tough, nothing got to me,

Then life happened, ugly things happened,

I broke,

I found you,

Learning to start from the beginning,

To learn how to cope and feel safe,

My hope is only in You.

I’m struggling Jesus.

I am who you say I am,

Not what the world says in their anger,

I pray to find rest and peace with you as I continue to find true freedom.

Breathe

Just Breathe

I desire to grow in you and be who you created me to be.

Broken to freedom,

Amen.

Always Learning

Today.

I thought I might crumble.

Met with uncertainty.

But lifted up by His hand.

Learning to listen and pray,

Being surrounded by His love,

Learning more about His character,

He is real and the Holy Spirit is there too,

Growing spiritually in His word,

Being real and honest,

Learning to learn can be tough,

But not impossible with Him,

I love Him,

He loves me,

I’m learning to trust,

He is ever so kind and patient,

Always learning,

Always Running to Him.

-KI

Speak Up

I woke up this morning in a box of shame,

I had nightmares again.

Will they ever stop?

And why is it that I never fight hard enough to get away?

And why do I always hear those words?

“Beautiful girl, come”.

Stop it!

Stop it!

Stop it!

Jesus, help.

Please teach me to speak up and fight.

KI

Learning to Breathe

In the beginning, even if you don’t really know where that starts…

You feel as if the whole world is on top of you and all sights and sounds bombard your senses.

You can’t breathe.

You shut your eyes tightly, Pull your knees to your chest and Cover your ears.

Stop, just stop.

Can anyone see me?

Inviting someone… anyone into this space is to be used with caution. You do not want to be hurt anymore.

The desire is to flourish to be accepted for who you are, to be loved unconditionally and to make the biggest splash that you can…and to love others, to point them to…

Jesus

We desire a higher calling, a higher purpose, a place to belong and a place to call home.

Home… that is not here, but there are pieces here and there. People who embody and bear much fruit.

Even in those darkest moments, those places where you can’t breathe, He is there.

Learning to listen, to grow, to continually seek Him. It is the key to shutting out the lies and for finding victory.

Stop listening to the lies!

I am a sheep and He is the Good Shepherd.

He is your and my Pappa.

He longs for us to abandon all ties to this world and to follow Him.

To empty ourselves, so that He can come in and restore those broken places. To turn the jaggedness to a beautiful masterpiece.

When you feel trapped, alone, in the corner, in that dark place…He is there.

Breathe. Inhale…1…2…3…4…hold…1…2…Exhale…3…4…5…6…7…8.

Is it easy? No, but it is not meant to be easy. Our heavenly home is not here on this earth. We are citizens of Heaven.

Put on that armor of the Lord…

And remember He is with you…

Every single step of the journey.

Breathe.