Sometimes

The chiming of the bell,

The alarm that wakes you to the core,

Tick, Tock goes the clock,

Am I too late?

To snip and suture the wound?

I need the Almighty Surgeon and Healer.

To put the pieces back together…..

To help me to be whole.

Sometimes I cry,

Sometimes I pray,

Sometimes I reach my hands to the sky,

And sometimes I feel afraid.

To feel, is okay.

But to remain in the depths of despair,

That mindset needs a reset,

Hold on tight, deep breath, bosom to the floor with hands clasped gently together.

He will meet you there.

He is always with you, always.

That hope that resonates to the core,

I keep repeating… He is Here…

He knows that I’m drowning…

He holds the vine…

Reach out, it is within sight,

Jump and take flight.

He’s got you,

He knows your brokenness,

He knows your desires to be made whole.

Numb

He is there.

Maybe that is where I’m supposed to be?

I need to be held,

Because I’m falling apart.

Deep breath.

Listen.

He loves you and I.

To be whole.

Adventure

That feeling…

The wind swirls around your face,

You feel really warm inside,

A smile creeps on your face,

Can this really be joy coming back?

Some days appear to be dirty stained glass,

Where the pain seems it will never leave,

The room of many doors,

To open when He calls,

When He takes you by the hand,

You can only do it with Him.

The adventure is what you make it.

Will you or I simply cower in the corner,

Or walk with the one who adores us?

Poppa, you simply make the journey survivable…

Without you, I cannot breathe,

But with you,

In the healing and waves of emotion,

You gather me in your arms of love.

And together, we can walk out this adventure.

One step, two steps at a time,

Laughing together,

Holding hands,

Pressing in,

Covered by your love,

My hope is in you.

Broken to see You

Peace.

Breathe.

Open my eyes to see you.

Today was a hard day, Jesus.

Really hard.

I started the morning at your feet,

I asked the Holy Spirit to move,

I was playful and excited about the day,

I loved the beautiful sunrise,

It was so colorful,

Like a painting that I can only aspire to ever create,

God, sometimes I need things to slow down,

Just a little bit.

Today, I arrived safely to work,

I walked in with a big smile and I love saying good morning and let’s do this!

Then, the dark clouds come.

I keep praying,

I panic,

My friend prayed with urgency for me,

And as I pondered big questions,

The warfare only got bigger and bigger,

I wanted everything to stop,

The warfare was swallowing me,

Then I broke,

I started crying,

Ugly Tears,

My heart,

Hurt,

I couldn’t stop crying,

Even in the storm, I could see you,

But all I could do was cry.

I used to be able to be a fortress, no tears, tough, nothing got to me,

Then life happened, ugly things happened,

I broke,

I found you,

Learning to start from the beginning,

To learn how to cope and feel safe,

My hope is only in You.

I’m struggling Jesus.

I am who you say I am,

Not what the world says in their anger,

I pray to find rest and peace with you as I continue to find true freedom.

Breathe

Just Breathe

I desire to grow in you and be who you created me to be.

Broken to freedom,

Amen.

Press Into Him

Hello Yeshua.

It’s me.

Again.

I desire more of you.

Please teach me how to press more into you.

I desire to be made whole.

I feel like there are so many pieces of me…

Missing.

As I seek you,

Earnestly,

You are here.

You will not leave me,

Because you dearly love me.

I struggle within,

Spiritual warfare?

I pray that I surrender more of myself,

To You.

And I pray that the places where I find joy,

Grow.

Being close to you,

Loving you,

My heart is syncing up to yours.

To Love others,

To Love the healing process,

To be used to help others to know you more.

I love you.

And you love me too.

Please help me to hear, see and follow your lead.

Keep holding my hand,

I’m holding yours.

Amen.

-KI

Learning to Breathe

In the beginning, even if you don’t really know where that starts…

You feel as if the whole world is on top of you and all sights and sounds bombard your senses.

You can’t breathe.

You shut your eyes tightly, Pull your knees to your chest and Cover your ears.

Stop, just stop.

Can anyone see me?

Inviting someone… anyone into this space is to be used with caution. You do not want to be hurt anymore.

The desire is to flourish to be accepted for who you are, to be loved unconditionally and to make the biggest splash that you can…and to love others, to point them to…

Jesus

We desire a higher calling, a higher purpose, a place to belong and a place to call home.

Home… that is not here, but there are pieces here and there. People who embody and bear much fruit.

Even in those darkest moments, those places where you can’t breathe, He is there.

Learning to listen, to grow, to continually seek Him. It is the key to shutting out the lies and for finding victory.

Stop listening to the lies!

I am a sheep and He is the Good Shepherd.

He is your and my Pappa.

He longs for us to abandon all ties to this world and to follow Him.

To empty ourselves, so that He can come in and restore those broken places. To turn the jaggedness to a beautiful masterpiece.

When you feel trapped, alone, in the corner, in that dark place…He is there.

Breathe. Inhale…1…2…3…4…hold…1…2…Exhale…3…4…5…6…7…8.

Is it easy? No, but it is not meant to be easy. Our heavenly home is not here on this earth. We are citizens of Heaven.

Put on that armor of the Lord…

And remember He is with you…

Every single step of the journey.

Breathe.