Learning to Breathe

In the beginning, even if you don’t really know where that starts…

You feel as if the whole world is on top of you and all sights and sounds bombard your senses.

You can’t breathe.

You shut your eyes tightly, Pull your knees to your chest and Cover your ears.

Stop, just stop.

Can anyone see me?

Inviting someone… anyone into this space is to be used with caution. You do not want to be hurt anymore.

The desire is to flourish to be accepted for who you are, to be loved unconditionally and to make the biggest splash that you can…and to love others, to point them to…

Jesus

We desire a higher calling, a higher purpose, a place to belong and a place to call home.

Home… that is not here, but there are pieces here and there. People who embody and bear much fruit.

Even in those darkest moments, those places where you can’t breathe, He is there.

Learning to listen, to grow, to continually seek Him. It is the key to shutting out the lies and for finding victory.

Stop listening to the lies!

I am a sheep and He is the Good Shepherd.

He is your and my Pappa.

He longs for us to abandon all ties to this world and to follow Him.

To empty ourselves, so that He can come in and restore those broken places. To turn the jaggedness to a beautiful masterpiece.

When you feel trapped, alone, in the corner, in that dark place…He is there.

Breathe. Inhale…1…2…3…4…hold…1…2…Exhale…3…4…5…6…7…8.

Is it easy? No, but it is not meant to be easy. Our heavenly home is not here on this earth. We are citizens of Heaven.

Put on that armor of the Lord…

And remember He is with you…

Every single step of the journey.

Breathe.

River Break

A new day.

A new chance.

The journey of the twisted river.

The streams churning, the drops that splash off of the jagged rocks and cover my legs.

Bare feet sinking in the murky sand.

Do I dare to continue the journey?

When there is so much fury?

The hope beyond the horizon,

The Son is beckoning,

Hand outstretched and shielding the light,

This is going to be a fight!

The Warrior spirit stirs within,

Stand firm, eyes focused, clenched fists,

Stretch, Pull, Bend, Extend,

Release the taut posture,

Open…Close; Inhale…Exhale,

Just a little bit more,

Release the barbaric yarp,

The deep, sharp, gentle and soft guttural sounds,

Let it flow, Let it go!

I might break!

The river is flowing,

What do you choose?

To fight for eternal love,

River, Break.

Multifaceted Storm

The storm inside collides
Prickly Pear
The feelings are multifaceted
Shades of Gray

Feeling Raw
Exposed
I cannot hide behind the facade
The mask that I’m so accustomed to
I just can’t
Every inch of my body is screaming
Stinging
Yelling at me and at everything around me
The storm
It swirls around.

I cannot move.

Whoosh…thorns, claws…whoosh!
Swallowing me whole
I cannot breathe

The back of my neck is tense
My lungs do not want to cooperate
Come On Baby, Breathe

The tears that wait at bay
The deep searing ache in your chest
Every single sound hurts my ears and head
Stop Talking
Stop caring
Stop it!
Come On Baby, Breathe

The med train keeps rolling
Even though at times it doesn’t help
At All
Arms heavy with guilt, shame, fear…
Perspiration dots my forehead,
I feel alone even in a public space
I need to scream
I dont know how, it will not come out!

Stop, Stop, Stop
Do Not Love Me
I Do Not Deserve it
Come On Baby, Breathe.

It is hard when you feel like you just keep treading water without a shore to bring hope…

There is a hand reaching with such transparent power and might…
His grip clenches my wrist as I am sinking…
I cannot breathe.
I don’t want to breathe.
Come On Baby, Breathe…

Tears drench His face, the love in His forever eyes.
He loves me deeply.
He will never give up on me and He is there.
As He pulls and quickly envelops me in His wings…

The warmth
The quickened heartbeat
The concerned brow
The countenance of unconditional love
Freedom can only be found in Him.

Come On Baby, He’s Got you, Breathe.

Do Not Stop, Praise Him

Do not stop, even when you face those dark scary days…keep going.

Do Not Stop praising Him.

As you navigate and keep pushing through the mud, the pain, the sorrow…

Remember that He is with you.

He is the light in the dark.

Every single step, collecting every tear.

He walks with you, you are His child, He will never leave you.

When you feel like you can’t breathe and you can’t see where to go and your anxiety is overwhelming you.

God is with you.

Praise Him for all good things come from Him.

He knows your steps, He sees the struggle and brokenness. He is the light of the world and the way, the truth and the life that we seek.

Your fears will be put to rest.

He holds you, loves you and does not ever miss a thing.

In the whispers, He is there.

In the screaming, He is there.

In the anguish, He is there.

He loves you.

He will never abandon you.

You are not alone.

Praise Him.

Keep Climbing

Step by Step.

No matter the terrain.

No matter the weather.

Paved? Dirt? Gravel? Snow? Mud?

Shattered glass?

Keep going.

Open your eyes,

Listen to your heart.

There is a song buried deep inside,

A song with a melody,

Step by Step.

Note by Note.

Pick up the pace.

Time waits for no one.

The Time is Now.

Ready, Set, Go…

He is waiting for you.