Heart Believe

When the tears fall and they won’t stop,

I often wonder if my Father in Heaven sees me?

Some days are harder than others.

When you want things to be amazing and carefree…but they are not.

Sometimes it feels easier to just sit alone in the corner,

Because my voice cannot be heard by others.

Here is the kicker…

Gratitude is so important.

And He is Here.

He is teaching me to rely on Him more.

He quiets the storm inside and He collects my tears.

He loves all of us so much.

Deep breath.

Jesus, I need you so much.

I desire healing…

Please wash over me.

I press into you with all that I am.

I seek you.

– KI

Roots To Beauty

When you are spending time thinking about how you can grow, become whole and flourish… Questions arise.

Where does this start?

What is needed for the foundation?

What is needed for nourishment?

Who is the source?

Can I handle this?

Who is in control?

Will I be able to contain my emotions?

How do I do my part?

The answer is….

Seek Him

What if I am scared?

What if I can’t breathe?

What if I shutdown?

What if I feel alone?

What if I’m drowning in fear?

What if I can’t sleep?

What if I struggle with faith?

What if I’m afraid to open up?

What if, I just can’t do it?

Seek Him

Darling…

He is with you,

He goes before you,

He holds you close,

He loves you dearly,

He will guide you if you let Him lead.

He is gentle,

He is nurturing your heart, mind and soul,

He knows and will not leave you,

He is patient and kind,

He is the King, the Savior, your Papa.

He is your coach and mentor,

He is your best friend,

He is your deepest love,

He is the one who you can share everything without fear,

He loves you so very much!

Seek Him

Trust Him and He will guide your paths,

Trust Him to restore and mend,

Trust Him to be all that He says He is,

Trust Him to lead you to healing,

Trust Him to meet all of those questions.

Seek Him

Listen child,

Dear one,

You are Loved deeply by Him,

He will never ever leave you.

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Colossians 3:2 CSB

In him you are also being built together for God’s dwelling in the Spirit.
Ephesians 2:22 CSB

Seek Him

Roots To Beauty…

He is making you new.

Keep trusting Him.

KI 💕

Internal Scream

I don’t know if it is just me,

But I struggle with this tug-of-war,

Heels dug in the ground,

Jaw clenched and sweat on the brow.

Pull, as if to run away, but also to say No!

How do you learn to vocalize the scream?

Where is it safe to do so?

Will other people think I’m weird?

What will it sound like?

A Barbaric Yarp or a mix of shrieking with gasping?

I just struggle with the swirling of the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the joy and the pain.

I keep trying to learn the balance between talking and not talking. Sometimes it feels as if it is easier to say nothing at all.

Here I am.

Waving my hands.

Like an S.O.S.

Visions of breakthrough….

Anything can happen…

Jesus, is it safer to be alone?

To not be a burden to anyone?

To stroll solo without any ties to anyone?

To not share for the fear of abandonment?

Maybe easier?

To be a turtle, to lock up the hurt inside and throw the key away.

To realize that I’m not really here.

It is all temporary.

My home is not here.

It is in Heaven.

Every time I try to dig deep and be me to those close relationships…

I always watch them walk away and I learn that yet again I’m not supposed to say anything.

I’m supposed to care, to love, to be there always listening.

Deep breath, I can’t breathe!

The tears,

I dislike those so much!

I wish I had a magic wand to take away all of the hurt and pain that you and I feel.

Shattered life, Shattered me…

Only He can put the pieces back together.

Please remember that everyone is facing a battle and conversations are so very important.

Postcards sure,

Email sure,

Text sure,

But the really deep connecting stuff,

That is what God desires for us to find only with those He has appointed there in that place.

He is the healer and loving Father.

To trust Him.

To stop talking.

To love Him.

To bow my head.

Peace Be Still.

Be Merry

People say…

Merry Christmas!

Happy Holidays!

Seasons Greetings!

Be Merry!

Thanksmas!

Truth be told…

I just want to hear…

Happy Birthday Jesus over all of the banter.

My heart, my mind, my soul…

Craves Him.

I feel…

The ebb and flow of the shiver between Dark and Light…

I feel…

The warmth, the glow, the comfort that can only be found in Him…

I want that this December.

So, Yes, Be Merry…

But be true and authentic.

(((HUGS))

KI

The Pursuit

Shivering,

Shaking,

I’m tired of running,

From You.

Why do I Run?

Empty

….But God, there is Hope

Confused

….But God, there is Understanding

Anger

….But God, there is Freedom

Staring into the darkness,

He beckons in the bright light,

Where did the flowers go?

Why does the warmth from the sun fade?

It is He who is strong enough to help,

To listen, comfort, strengthen, love…

To love you…

Even if you decide to run,

To let go, to jump, to lose yourself.

It is here…

At the end of myself,

I find you.

When I cannot breathe,

I find you.

The fighting and deep whimpers,

Learning to grasp the next line by speaking life!

I am not alone, for you are with me.

Pappa, Jesus…

Might I just say,

I’m still seeking You.