Current deep pain mixed with prior pain from the past can just hit you hard when you are a baby Christian.
Learning can be disrupted when there are clear misunderstandings…especially when you know you’ve been called by God to be part of something that is way bigger than yourself, but the other part of the called does not see it.
Spiritual moms and dads…They are part of a higher calling by God. Whether or not they respond to the call by God to help guide and be alongside those who need to learn…can impact the spiritual family foundation.
Worship, Prayer, Praise… that is the only answer. Leaving the call by God unanswered hurts deeply.
Continue to speak truth, allow the Lord to mend those hurt places and allow humility and grace.
Pray for those who also fight in the trenches with you and pray for the battles that occur everywhere.
May those who are also broken find that they can be made whole in Him.
As I learn to Listen to God, I am reminded that He ultimately desires that I simply obey.
Obedience always seems like a place where I just want to run away or rebel against it. To just have what I want without working through the hard, damnable, life-draining muck. Who really wants to work through the stuff that hurts so much that no one knows the pain, but Him?
He knows.
He cares.
He loves unconditionally.
Jesus…
Do you see me? Can I trust you?
There is this abysmal place inside that I protect…the last pieces of my heart…what is left of it anyway. I don’t even think it is a heart most days. A vast place where pieces drift here and there.
Deep Breath
Years ago… it was shattered into a million pieces. Those pieces of pieces of pieces are missing to me. Lost, stolen, taken, hijacked without consent.
Dare I say that I believe that Jesus can rebuild my heart and make it new…
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.
Psalms 147:3 CSB
To Obey… Dear Jesus… I’m trying to trust and let go!
I must not just hear, but obey. He fights for me!
To surrender everything and lay all of it at your feet!
For me, the hardest pieces are accepting everything that has happened, acknowledging that I cannot fix all of it on my own, trusting that you are big enough and strong enough to hold onto me as the serious heart surgery must be done.
Stop Running Away!
He extends His arms…
He is patiently waiting for me to run to Him and obey.
Peace can only come afterobedience.
Our Lord is great, vast in power; His understanding is infinite.
Krysten.Ivey 