Tag: Fear

Pine Lodge, Becoming Whole

Krysten.IveyLeave a comment

(To the Ladies of Pine Lodge, Timberline Knolls)

A place of change,

The girls in lodge,

A part of the

journey of healing.

Together they provided,

Strength, Wonder, Hope

And Honesty…

So many attributes of growth.

Pine Lodge provided,

A safe place for some,

Even though,

It is truly a safe place.

Many of us struggled,

And ran away

from ourselves,

Remembering trauma or dissociation or fear.

Trauma is real,

Not everything is life comes easily,

There is purpose in the learning,

It hurts,

It tears you apart,

Part of recovery,

Is putting the pieces together,

And fixing the shattered heart,

with Gold.

We are changed,

We are bold,

We are strong,

We are becoming whole.

One day at a time…

It is a beautiful process,

We all stop running,

We are filled with love,

To face new beginnings.

The goodness in the valleys and the mountains.

Brokenness,

Recovery,

Learning,

Becoming a sisterhood.

-KI-

Whirlwind to Peace

Krysten.Ivey2 Comments

The whirlwind,

Can you feel it?

The beating of your anxious heart,

Your chest tightening,

That feeling that creeps up from your belly to the top of your esophagus…

I can’t breathe.

My ears are warm and my eyes are wide open…

Hurry close them!

I spend so much time stuck in my head,

I’m reaching and asking Him to meet me here,

Hand in Hand,

Here I am Poppa,

Is it okay to cling to you in the darkness,

When the scary stuff creeps in?

My eyes are closed,

Am I safe?

You are here,

Let’s ride the waves together,

Struggling to find that gentle, calm space,

You are leading the way.

Walking side by side is where I want to be,

You are delighted in me,

You see more than I see,

The journey ahead is…

A hop, skip and a jump.

To play, to grow, to live and to love.

New adventures are coming,

Though I am scared,

I seek you.

On shaky ground,

I seek you.

Help me please,

To find peace in your presence.

Rage to Hope

Krysten.Ivey2 Comments

The struggle,

The deep ache,

For hope,

For love,

For Him to keep you covered,

Keep focused baby girl,

Deep breath,

Jesus, help.

I need help.

I need the broken pieces to come back together,

To feel something better than the rage,

To be free and clean,

Will you sit with me?

Even in my mess?

Even with my anger?

I cannot do this alone.

Will you walk with me?

Can you hold my hand and wash my face?

Come in my secret place and love me?

Even if it’s dark,

Please help me to see more of you.

I want to know you more,

I long for that embrace of safety and trust.

I’m seeking you the best I know how to.

Please continue to teach me.

Please do not give up on me.

I see you watering the flowers,

I want to be there too.

It’s my hope and I’m learning.

Rage go away.

Peace Be Still

Inner Chaos

Krysten.Ivey1 Comment

Tears

Tidal waves

Hope

The light that breaks the darkness

The sun that shines through the black array of clouds.

A flicker to a bright flame.

It burns.

Crumbs of love

Swirling, intense feelings

Needing oxygen

Fighting to swim

Breathe

Unbalanced, losing footing

Dig deep

The intense emotional rush

Slamming into you, into everything

That crashing sound

The stillness that plateaus

Help me Jesus to rest in your arms.