Swaying,
Exhausted,
My emotions toss about inside,
I was frozen,
I thought, I thought I saw him,
I didn’t know what to do,
Tears with embarrassment,
Shame,
Just breathe, Just breathe,
The moment of fear overwhelmed me,
My heart,
Dear Jesus,
Cover me in your wings,
I seek refuge and tenderness,
Your hands,
Your love,
Your eyes,
My hope,
Is in you.
Leaning into you more every day.
Just Breathe.
My eyes on you.
Amen.
Sometimes I do wonder if I am…
Making the right choices
Dotting the I and crossing the T
Steping forward or backward
Swimming or treading or drowning
Aware or delusional
Happy or Sad
Strong or weak
Breathing or holding my breath
That uneasy feeling in my stomach scares me and I tend to doubt
I want to trust Him more,
Rest in His arms more,
Stop running and hiding from Him,
Inhale: One…Two…Three…Four…
Hold: One…Two…Three…Four…
Exhale: One…Two…Three…Four…Five…Six…Seven…Eight…
You’ve got this!
He’s got you!
He is worthy!
He is the way maker…and promise keeper.
Peeking around I see,
His gentle face and outstretched hand,
The sun, the water, the breeze,
Let’s go dance in the flowers!
He says…
We will get there,
Trust me, my beautiful child.
Trying my best Pappa.
Eyes, ears and heart… open up please.
Hello Yeshua.
It’s me.
Again.
I desire more of you.
Please teach me how to press more into you.
I desire to be made whole.
I feel like there are so many pieces of me…
Missing.
As I seek you,
Earnestly,
You are here.
You will not leave me,
Because you dearly love me.
I struggle within,
Spiritual warfare?
I pray that I surrender more of myself,
To You.
And I pray that the places where I find joy,
Grow.
Being close to you,
Loving you,
My heart is syncing up to yours.
To Love others,
To Love the healing process,
To be used to help others to know you more.
I love you.
And you love me too.
Please help me to hear, see and follow your lead.
Keep holding my hand,
I’m holding yours.
Amen.
-KI
Blank stare,
Emotions collide,
Cannot breathe,
Need to breathe,
Is this real?
Does it matter?
Who cares?
He cares about everything,
Trying to dig deeper,
He gathers the missing pieces,
Trying to produce sound,
He holds my hand,
I need someone to walk with us,
Praying and walking with Him,
Please listen and feel with me,
Help me to see Him,
So that I can be made whole.
I’m so tired of being broken,
So tired of the shame,
Just….breathe….
Stop shaking.
He is here.
I am 2 years old.
Be still and Swing.
I woke up this morning in a box of shame,
I had nightmares again.
Will they ever stop?
And why is it that I never fight hard enough to get away?
And why do I always hear those words?
“Beautiful girl, come”.
Stop it!
Stop it!
Stop it!
Jesus, help.
Please teach me to speak up and fight.
– KI
Krysten.Ivey 