Conversations with Jesus: Through the Flames

When you are running, you know you are running… It can be from a good or bad place, but you know you are running.

Stride after Stride, which way do you turn?  Left, Right, can’t go backward, but always move forward… Breathe.

The cycle can continue, constantly feeling like you are drowning and not quite living  and your pants can be caught by the flames.

It is important to recognize from what and why you are running and where you are going… always look ahead.

Are you truly thriving and being who you are called to be?

The key questions remain: Whose am I and Who am I?

Arriving in a place where there is nowhere to go, but to look up and reach out…

He says…ever so gently…as any gentleman would be.

I see you, my dear, I see you… I see you.  I am here.

He reaches for me through the flames…

Baby girl, grab my hand.

He died for me, for you, for us.  It is through Love that He chose to die so that we could be with Him in eternity.

When you feel all is lost, don’t give in to the thoughts of despair, but look to Him who gives you Hope, Strength, Courage… a renewed spirit, a new heart, a call to follow Him.

Acknowledge, Believe and Confess…

But even more…to Trust and Surrender.

He is going to pick up the pieces and mend those broken places.

It is in the deep, in those deep places that He is there and He will never leave you.

So climb out of the dungeon, crawl away from the dark corner where you thought that protecting yourself from everyone and everything was for your good.

You were dying in that place.

Step out in Faith, grab His hand and don’t look back.

I am His and He is mine. 

He is my Father and I am His child. 

He is the King and I am a Princess. 

He is the Mighty Warrior and I am a Princess Warrior…

Pick up that sword, Girl, we’ve got work to do.

flame_princess_running_away_by_pin100-d823uyu

 

In Brokenness, Walk it out with Him

As I learn to Listen to God, I am reminded that He ultimately desires that I simply obey.

Obedience always seems like a place where I just want to run away or rebel against it. To just have what I want without working through the hard, damnable, life-draining muck. Who really wants to work through the stuff that hurts so much that no one knows the pain, but Him?

He knows.

He cares.

He loves unconditionally.

Jesus…

Do you see me? Can I trust you?

There is this abysmal place inside that I protect…the last pieces of my heart…what is left of it anyway.  I don’t even think it is a heart most days.  A vast place where pieces drift here and there.

Deep Breath

Years ago… it was shattered into a million pieces. Those pieces of pieces of pieces are missing to me. Lost, stolen, taken, hijacked without consent.

Dare I say that I believe that Jesus can rebuild my heart and make it new

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.

Psalms 147:3 CSB

To ObeyDear Jesus… I’m trying to trust and let go!

I must not just hear, but obey.  He fights for me!

To surrender everything and lay all of it at your feet!

For me, the hardest pieces are accepting everything that has happened, acknowledging that I cannot fix all of it on my own, trusting that you are big enough and strong enough to hold onto me as the serious heart surgery must be done.

Stop Running Away!

He extends His arms…

He is patiently waiting for me to run to Him and obey.

Peace can only come after obedience.

Our Lord is great, vast in power; His understanding is infinite.

Psalms 147:5 CSB

Praying…

I seek you. I want you.

Please help me to feel safe.

afterglow avian backlit birds
Photo by luizclas on Pexels.com

Sleep Baby Sleep

I wake up at 2am every morning…

Is it fear? Is it anxiety? Is it that dark place that holds the pain?

Eyes burst open, heart racing, I can’t breathe due to fear and being afraid… I grab the top sheet and throw it over my head.

Hide, run, can I be made whole? Truly whole again one day?

Rest, Baby Girl, He has you, as my mentor would say.

STOP! THINK!

He is who He says He is…

I am learning.

To trust, To surrender, To be Free.

Sleep, Baby, Sleep.

He is…The Good Shepherd & The True Vine.

Rest In Him.