Category: Random Thoughts

Learning to Breathe

Krysten.Ivey2 Comments

In the beginning, even if you don’t really know where that starts…

You feel as if the whole world is on top of you and all sights and sounds bombard your senses.

You can’t breathe.

You shut your eyes tightly, Pull your knees to your chest and Cover your ears.

Stop, just stop.

Can anyone see me?

Inviting someone… anyone into this space is to be used with caution. You do not want to be hurt anymore.

The desire is to flourish to be accepted for who you are, to be loved unconditionally and to make the biggest splash that you can…and to love others, to point them to…

Jesus

We desire a higher calling, a higher purpose, a place to belong and a place to call home.

Home… that is not here, but there are pieces here and there. People who embody and bear much fruit.

Even in those darkest moments, those places where you can’t breathe, He is there.

Learning to listen, to grow, to continually seek Him. It is the key to shutting out the lies and for finding victory.

Stop listening to the lies!

I am a sheep and He is the Good Shepherd.

He is your and my Pappa.

He longs for us to abandon all ties to this world and to follow Him.

To empty ourselves, so that He can come in and restore those broken places. To turn the jaggedness to a beautiful masterpiece.

When you feel trapped, alone, in the corner, in that dark place…He is there.

Breathe. Inhale…1…2…3…4…hold…1…2…Exhale…3…4…5…6…7…8.

Is it easy? No, but it is not meant to be easy. Our heavenly home is not here on this earth. We are citizens of Heaven.

Put on that armor of the Lord…

And remember He is with you…

Every single step of the journey.

Breathe.

Listen and Live

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He is the chain breaker,

The Mighty Warrior!

He encompasses the deepest love that is unconditional.

He always listens to you,

He certainly cares about everything that you do.

He celebrates with you when you follow His word and when you allow Him to mend the messed up places that only He can fix.

In the mending, keep drawing close to Him.

Each day, a new start, take a deep breath!

For those He adds as companions on the journey, love and care for them too.

He is restoring and building up all of His children who seek Him.

He is a wonderful Pappa.

Let’s take the time to let Him love us even when we may not understand love.

Being made whole, in Him… is on His timetable, not ours.

Be patient child.

Keep climbing and looking up.

Keep your heart open and don’t build walls.

Keep taking the time to stop and smile.

He loves you more than you know.

He really does.

You can keep going,

Because He who is in you,

Is bigger than he who is in the world!

River Break

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A new day.

A new chance.

The journey of the twisted river.

The streams churning, the drops that splash off of the jagged rocks and cover my legs.

Bare feet sinking in the murky sand.

Do I dare to continue the journey?

When there is so much fury?

The hope beyond the horizon,

The Son is beckoning,

Hand outstretched and shielding the light,

This is going to be a fight!

The Warrior spirit stirs within,

Stand firm, eyes focused, clenched fists,

Stretch, Pull, Bend, Extend,

Release the taut posture,

Open…Close; Inhale…Exhale,

Just a little bit more,

Release the barbaric yarp,

The deep, sharp, gentle and soft guttural sounds,

Let it flow, Let it go!

I might break!

The river is flowing,

What do you choose?

To fight for eternal love,

River, Break.

Mending and Renewal

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He is a physician who is working diligently to mend you.

It can send your feelings reeling or bring you to a place of being in agreement with your heavenly father who knows what is best.

Bending and emptying yourself so that the space can be renewed and then filled by the Holy spirit.

Then coming to agreement with Jesus…that…His will be done. He fights for you, He loves you, He is your champion and will never leave you.

Separating emotions from intellectual thinking to allow for differentiation of self to become more like God the Father is the process He has called us to be immersed in for His timing and purposes.

Though it may not make sense, He is moving on your behalf, He is preparing the way, He is loving on you…if you let Him.

Choose to surrender everything because He cares for you.

Multifaceted Storm

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The storm inside collides
Prickly Pear
The feelings are multifaceted
Shades of Gray

Feeling Raw
Exposed
I cannot hide behind the facade
The mask that I’m so accustomed to
I just can’t
Every inch of my body is screaming
Stinging
Yelling at me and at everything around me
The storm
It swirls around.

I cannot move.

Whoosh…thorns, claws…whoosh!
Swallowing me whole
I cannot breathe

The back of my neck is tense
My lungs do not want to cooperate
Come On Baby, Breathe

The tears that wait at bay
The deep searing ache in your chest
Every single sound hurts my ears and head
Stop Talking
Stop caring
Stop it!
Come On Baby, Breathe

The med train keeps rolling
Even though at times it doesn’t help
At All
Arms heavy with guilt, shame, fear…
Perspiration dots my forehead,
I feel alone even in a public space
I need to scream
I dont know how, it will not come out!

Stop, Stop, Stop
Do Not Love Me
I Do Not Deserve it
Come On Baby, Breathe.

It is hard when you feel like you just keep treading water without a shore to bring hope…

There is a hand reaching with such transparent power and might…
His grip clenches my wrist as I am sinking…
I cannot breathe.
I don’t want to breathe.
Come On Baby, Breathe…

Tears drench His face, the love in His forever eyes.
He loves me deeply.
He will never give up on me and He is there.
As He pulls and quickly envelops me in His wings…

The warmth
The quickened heartbeat
The concerned brow
The countenance of unconditional love
Freedom can only be found in Him.

Come On Baby, He’s Got you, Breathe.